Return of the Plastics

Can I just reiterate the sheer futility and utter waste of people who act fake? Wherever you are in the world, there are always some cold, hard Plastics.

Oh really…

I’m sorry, your life is NOT a fairy tale – you make it more a horror film. While you act all sticky sweet on the outside, your true story spills blood and gore over every unfortunate victim foolish enough to cross your path. Alas, all that artificial Splenda poisons a mind to the brink of cancer. Sad to say, painted faces sometimes chip away to reveal something spoiled & rotting…

Why so angry, you ask? Can I just begin with…Plastics are evil. Pure and unadulterated. Alright, they’re human…or they were, once.  Okay, so maybe they’ve just been telling themselves one too many lies. That doesn’t condone what they do – manipulate and consume the emotions of others. Please, have you ever heard of anything so completely juvenile? Funny thing is, I make such commentary as a third party observer. Still, evil apparent always unveils itself.

Let me tell you about this specific plastic.  Let’s call her Barbie, for kicks. Barbie, believing herself to be well-versed in the ways of the universe, has a high & mighty view of herself. Of course, she would never admit that outright. Oh no, she would rather you make such an astute observation. After many moments of false modesty (to which you must completely disregard), she will seem to genuinely ask about your measly existence. Can’t you see all that concern well up in those big, lackluster, doll eyes of hers? Did she manage a few eye-bats in their with her artificial lashes? Did she ask how your mother was? Well, she actually doesn’t care. She just wants the information. You see, Barbie is actually a cyborg spy intent on gaining valuable data on her playing pieces. That pretty pink smile does more than just hide pearly whites – oh, it hides secrets as well.

So, you were innocent & honest with her…but then you hear the stories. Oh yes, Barbie talks. Barbie talks a lot and she doesn’t filter – lies or truth. Somewhere in her software, there’s this glitch – she manufactures lies the same way she processes truth. Unfortunately for you, this means you must suffer under the consequences. She’ll go around spreading her “story” based loosely on what you told her. She will rend others tearful and sympathetic. Most horrifying of all…they all believe her. Don’t worry, everyone will know your deepest, darkest secrets. Oh, but Barbie only wanted to help.

Moral of the story? Don’t play with the dolls, sweety. They bite.

Plastics are not zombies…exactly…

So…how to survive an attack of the zombies – <ahem> Plastic(s).

1. Do not associate with them, do not talk to them, do not, for heaven’s sake, touch them. They are like zombies – one interaction and your chances of survival spike downwards.

2. Have a third party officiate and monitor your conversations. Okay, this one sounds extreme.

3. Never have it be your word against hers – she will always win. What can I say? She knows the art of deception well, down to the very last tear.

4. Don’t play nice – be brutally honest; you might get the element of surprise on your side.

5. Prepare your back to be stabbed. Just expect it; Plastics change alliances based on their own selfish desires.

Most importantly: know that you are better than this, my friend. You are not plastic, you are flesh and bone. Yes, you my feel hurt or abandoned or angry, but at least you are human. You know how to love, whereas plastic has no thoughts or feelings – it is weak; it only knows how to break.

Keep in mind though, as evil as she seems, she IS still human. Yes, someone hurt her in the past, hardened her. She turned her heart to stone to survive. Remember, this is between her and someone else, possibly with God, not between you and her. There’s much more at stake here. Don’t be afraid to pray for her, granted no “God, please smite her” prayers. However, it is okay to pray for God’s justice and timing to take over. No harm in that.

Chin up, friend. Humanness is learning to shed honest tears, through all the fake Splenda smiles.

Hey, Splenda was made from real sugar. Maybe she just feels empty inside…




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