April 21st will always be a date of second chances for me. A week before, I was wait-listed as a candidate for the ETA Fulbright Taiwan program. I felt completely gutted, feeling I had failed to fulfill a dream. However, I picked myself off the floor and soldiered on. I began investigating alternative teaching positions, extending my summer marketing internship, anything to keep me from dwelling on the devastating news I received.
Everything took a turn for the better April 21st, just two days ago. I checked my e-mail to find the executive director for the East Asian-Pacific US Program contacted me directly and asked that I call him for some news about my status. I grabbed the phone and, within a matter of minutes, my status changed from alternate to principle. I could not believe my ears.
For me, this has to do a lot about faith. Many of you might not agree, but I still want to tell you my story. Prior to Easter, I was feeling incredibly apathetic. I had a horrible weekend spent in bed watching Torchwood, a Doctor Who spinoff, and not doing any work on my thesis. I stared at the ceiling and longed to be someone, anyone else. In some ways, I felt deserted by friends and incredibly lonely. I relied on the dream of Fulbright to escape my senioritis plateau and general anxiety about life after college. Sunday changed everything. I heard testimony after testimony about God’s faithfulness and His steadfast love. My heart began to change. Once cemented closed, it cracked open and began feeling again. I realized it didn’t matter what others thought of me or what I thought of myself, but rather what God thinks of me. I needed that reminder about who Christ is and what He has done in my life. I can not pinpoint exactly what changed in those few hours watching people get baptized, but I can tell you my perspective on the future changed completely. As tears streamed down my face, it washed away the fog of seeing myself through other people’s eyes and opinions. I began to trust that God knew exactly what to do.
How strange and beautiful, that the next day I received such impossible news. I believe God wanted me to see Him first, plans second. In terms of leaps of faith, this wasn’t a huge, bounding jump. A skip and a hop later, I found myself on an entire different horizon. Trust God to throw me a curveball, eh?
I wouldn’t want life any other way.
Here’s to 11 months of crazy adventures in Taiwan, blog in tow.
“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ~Philippians 4:12-13