I think there is something very underrated about being alone. I have spent way too long listening to people give me the “better half” speech or to just wait for that “special someone.”
No. Just, no.
I am fine and content in the person that God made me to be. I don’t need another person to complete me, I need the grace of God which I intend to seek everyday. It’s not as if my life starts when I meet someone. It starts when I open my eyes and embrace the life I’m given. We are each blessed with the impossible forgiveness of a fresh start, a new day that unveils itself at the blush of dawn every morning. Adventures brimming with anticipation and excitement. Sometimes, it might just be a solo journey.
You see, it’s the mentality of wanting, of never having enough, of misplaced desire that usually gets me into messy places in the first place. I get it into my head that somehow I don’t have all that I need, a lonely black hole overtaking where my heart used to be. It’s not only sad, I think it’s kind of selfish. What kind of one-sided lover, self-proclaimed romantic lives only to receive love?
No, I want to learn to give. To give and not expect to receive. Not in some pitiful stepping-stone way, but in freedom. I want to learn to overflow so much with love that it can’t help but runneth over, splashing and spilling everywhere in its wake. To love freely, just because God is love.
I think what I once defined as love was only desire. I wanted what others had or creature comfort or someone to briefly silence the roar of loneliness. It was all shying away from facing my demons.
Yes, I am single. No, I don’t want to apologize for it. I don’t want to get in a relationship just on the whim of lust or the whimper of loneliness. Love is bigger than two people, it’s bigger than one. It takes God. It takes sacrifice. Most of all, it means facing our own worst sides, our least lovable selves. Until I’ve reckoned with those dimensions of my character, until I’m ready to release them…I’m not sure bringing someone else into the ring would be my brightest idea.
I’ve heard singleness described as suffering. I’ve heard people call it pain or imprisonment, even torture. Waiting, some have said.
No, I think singleness, being one, is a gift. It’s quiet mornings and hot coffee. It’s long runs through any detours you like in the midst of a raging downpour. It’s reading the Word like you know your life depends on it, like God singing in your ear; quietly, sweetly. It’s the strength of Mother Theresa and the tenderness of calm. Being single means tackling your laziness, your unquiet temper and your unsung glories. It’s never really pretty, but it’s a freedom and blessing in its own right.
So, here is to the best and brightest and most single out there. Stand your ground, live your dreams, dive into passions. Know that you are complete, a masterpiece in God’s eyes, only to be re-figured by one Author. To no one else do you need bow down, find or search for. I am loved by God. Everyone else is just stardust. Beautiful, but just as fleeting.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:35-39